by Amy Matthews | Aug 14, 2017 | Inspiration |
When you think of taking care of yourself, the following things usually come to mind: eating healthy foods, remembering to exercise, getting plenty of sleep, being outdoors, booking an occasional massage, spending time with loved ones, or doing whatever you deem as fun. But these are all external options. What does it really mean to take care of yourself from the inside out? Here are my Top #5.
#1 Think Positive Thoughts
This is about training your mind. If you listen to what you tell yourself, are you generating positive, compassionate thoughts or critical, anxious thoughts? Tune in and see what you hear. If you find yourself thinking thoughts that make you unhappy or don’t serve you, change them. It’s as simple as that.
#2 Be Kind to Yourself
Here’s a novel idea. Instead of berating yourself, be kind. Talk to yourself like you would a good friend. It looks something like this: “Self, good job today, you really rocked it. I am proud of you.” There is no one on the planet who is more critical of yourself than you. Cut yourself some slack. Treat yourself like someone you care for dearly. Fall in love with yourself.
#3 Choose Happiness
I realize this is sometimes easier said than done. We all can get bent out of shape — what I call “pulling a nutty” — if something doesn’t go our way. If you don’t like something, take a few deep breaths until you recalibrate. As soon as you change your attitude towards the very thing that upset you, it will change. You are not a victim. No complaining: choose to be happy instead.
#4 Be Grateful
Having gratitude makes you feel better and brings more joy and goodness into your life. The benefits of a gratitude practice are endless: being grateful improves your physical, mental and psychological health, improves relationships and increases self esteem. Gratitude even improves sleep! It’s the new miracle drug. “I’ll have what she’s having.”
#5 Accept What Is
Accepting what is hasn’t always been easy for me. I am particular so I tend to like things a certain way. My mental drill went something like this: “If I only could change this about my home or work situation or relationship, then I would be happy.” Sound familiar? A coach first pointed this out to me and, though it took some time, I made a shift. I now accept what I can’t change, I focus on what I can and I am clear on the difference between the two.
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by Amy Matthews | Aug 1, 2017 | Inspiration |
It’s not easy to be inspired all of the time. No matter who you are and what’s happening in your life, we all need bursts of positive energy and new ideas. Here are my top 5 Tips to keep inspiration flowing in your life.
#1 Learn Something New
Doing something you haven’t done before requires courage because it takes you out of your comfort zone. Sign up for a language class or an art class or commit to a new sport. I joined a novice rowing team last year and took an Italian class this year. I’m also taking a writing class. Next up, I want to go to an Italian immersion class in Tuscany.
#2 Exercise
I don’t know what I would be like it I didn’t exercise every day. It gives me a sense of well being. Some days it energizes me, other days, it fuels my creativity, or it makes me feel more inspired and focused. My preference is to exercise outdoors so I go to boot camp and or on a hike. I also love a sweaty spin class. And I enjoy going to yoga two or three times a week – it is exercise for my soul.
#3 Change Up Your Routine
I am all for routines as they create structure in your life, but sometimes you can find yourself bored of the same ‘ol: whether it’s the food you eat, the route you take to work, or even how and when you have sex. If you feel a routine in your life is constricting, change it. Bring in an element of surprise into each and every day.
#4 Go Shopping in Your Closet
I’ve been doing this for years and I think I coined the phrase! Beautiful things have inspired me all my life. If you are anything like me, you have more clothes, shoes and accoutrements than you will ever need. I say, have a party in your closet! Remember how much fun it was to play dress up? Trying on things that you already own is a creative process and it helps to realize the abundance you already have. Plus it’s an opportunity to get rid of things you no longer want.
#5 Get Out of Dodge
There is nothing like getting out of your environment to help hit the reset button! It doesn’t require a lot of time or expense to get a new outlook on life. Take a day trip to explore a place you haven’t been. Try a new restaurant or go to one of your favorite haunts. Or take a drive, preferably with the top down! House swap with a friend for the weekend. Be curious and an explorer at heart. You will feel refreshed, revitalized and inspired.
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by Amy Matthews | Jul 24, 2017 | Business, Mindset |
I traveled constantly in the first half of my career. I worked for technology companies in sales executive positions with responsibility for the entire U.S. Once I was in Anchorage, Alaska and Palm Beach, Florida – the very same week! I then took over Latin America and traveled to Mexico, Brazil or Argentina three weeks a month from San Francisco. To say the least, I accumulated many miles and a few wrinkles along the way. Now as a coach and executive recruiter, my life is different. I love to travel but I get to do it when I want and it makes a world of difference.
I recently went on a quick trip for pleasure. I left SFO at 11am and was back the next day by 4pm. I hadn’t slept well the night before I left and didn’t sleep well in my hotel room. I was going directly from the airport to my bocce match. Yep, I play on a bocce team – that’s what you do when you live in Sausalito. Because I was tired and a bit spacey, I walked off the plane without my bag. Halfway down the terminal, I remembered so I had to walk back and get it. Strike One. Once I was back to Sausalito, I stopped to get water at the local grocery store before the game. I left my wallet there so I had to go back and get it. Strike Two. Once the bocce match was over, I drove off in my car until I realized I had left my purse at the bocce court. Strike Three. No frickin’ joke. I was scattered and bouncing around like a nutcase. I felt like a spinning top. Chalk it up to being out of practice with traveling? One thing is for sure, my head wasn’t connected to my body. I wasn’t grounded.
It’s easy to get caught up in our hectic lives and forget to pay attention. Being grounded makes a huge difference. What does being grounded mean? It’s when you’re present in your body. You feel centered and balanced, no matter what’s going on around you. I am not one of those naturally grounded people, so I have to work at it. I use tools like meditation, yoga, and hiking to get into my body. I have found that if I am connected to the earth, I am able to listen to myself and hear what I need. If I don’t make it a daily practice, I can get out of balance. But I also can get it back as quickly as I lost it: the next day, no more crazy Amy.
If this sounds at all familiar, add a grounding practice to your morning routine. Go for a walk, take a yoga class or meditate for five minutes a day. Or just take some deep long breaths. You will feel more grounded and better equipped to handle your busy day with grace…I promise.
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by Amy Matthews | Jul 14, 2017 | Mindset |
One of my least favorite things is gossip. The definition of gossip is casual conversation about other people, often involving details that are not necessarily true.
I’d like to talk about another kind of gossip which many people wouldn’t consider putting in the same category. When a friend tells you something and you share it with another friend, I call that gossip, even if the information is 100% true and accurate. As women, we are accustomed to care about and focus on others rather than talking about ourselves. Sometimes without being aware of it, we share information about other people as a way to connect with another person.
Truth be told, I consider myself a private person, even though I share myself openly with friends and family. I think it’s not cool or interesting to talk about another person when they aren’t even present. Also, it can zap your precious energy. Wouldn’t you rather share what YOU are excited about or inspired by?
If this at all resonates, I’d like you to consider the following. Next time you find yourself talking about someone else, shift the conversation and start talking about your own dreams, or what book you’re really into right now, or where you’d like to travel next. Tap into what inspires you, or ask the person you’re talking with what inspires them. I guarantee you will feel more energized and uplifted. All of us have a responsibility to create a life we love and that includes channeling positivity. Share the love and make a point to inspire others too!
For more inspiration about relationships, check out Woman UnRuled: Empowering Articles for Women. HERE.
by Amy Matthews | Jun 28, 2017 | Inspiration, Mindset |
It’s the strangest thing – many people don’t feel good about themselves. I believe we are born into this world feeling good, but as we grow, we get caught up in all the shoulds and expectations of our families and society that we forget what feeling good feels like. Our parents didn’t teach us how to feel good because they didn’t learn from their parents either.
It’s our birthright to feel good about ourselves! When you’re not feeling good about yourself, you are blocking all the love and good that can come your way. Somehow feeling guilty, not good enough, not worthy, not pretty or handsome enough can feel more familiar to us than embracing the state of feeling good. Many of us need to unlearn our old ways of being, learn how to feel good, and start loving YOU.
So, what does feeling good feel like? Here are some words to get the party started:
- Joyful
- Exuberant
- Inspired
- Powerful
- Hot
- Connected
- Free
- Loving
- Fulfilled
- Grateful
Do any of these resonate with you? If not, come up with your own words that do.
I have interviewed women between 25-50 and no matter their age, they are often self-critical. They compare themselves to others, don’t feel good enough about who they are, and doubt their thoughts and desires. Even when they are crazy successful and gorgeous! Maybe it’s because they don’t know how to feel good, or they feel guilty about feeling good…yikes.
I can relate. Much of my life, I didn’t felt great about me. My reason for not feeling good, for the most part, was my own self-imposed thinking. I felt I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough…you get the story. I also took complete responsibility for situations: if a job or relationship didn’t work out, I would say, “It’s all my fault, I made a mistake, I blew it.” On the other hand, when I accomplished a major feat, did I ever say, “Wow – you are amazing!”? Unfortunately, the answer is No.
Now for the good news. I had a major breakthrough a few years ago. I am kind to myself and much more forgiving because now I can say I love and accept myself…at least 85 percent of the time. And I have to say, it feels good! If I can do it, so can you.
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