by Amy Matthews | Mar 12, 2018 | Mindset |
When asked the question, “What’s most important to you?” often the answer is “health” or “family and friends.” These answers are all well and good but consider this:
The most precious and valuable resource we have is our time. Time is finite so how we choose to spend it really matters.
I read this a few years ago and it struck me as a more urgent way to prioritize what matters the most. The premise is, if you say your health is most important and one day find out you’re terminally ill, you’ll look back and ask yourself how you spent your time.
This week, think about what really matters to you and how you spend your time.
Are you making the most of every encounter and experience?
Are you sensually and lavishly drinking in life?
Are you joyful and happy?
Or
Are you spending too much time worrying or in fear?
Are you caring for loved ones but neglecting yourself?
Are you saying No to the things you want most?
Give your time to those people you love and that have your back and in turn, love you and have your back. Give your time to those things that light you up or put a smile on your face. Give your time to loving and nurturing yourself. Let go of the rest.
by Amy Matthews | Mar 2, 2018 | Mindset |
Perfectionism is the big elephant in the room.
As women, we’ve grown up in a culture where we’re valued by the way we look and perform. We’ve learned that getting “ahead” or getting “what we want” requires looking and acting a certain way. The truth is we’ve bought into these societal rules and the result is we don’t show up as our true selves.
You may think that striving for perfection is a good thing. I’m here to tell you it’s not.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big believer in having high standards. But perfectionism is when you refuse to accept anything but perfect. It’s a sign of low self esteem and leads to excessive worry, anxiety and unhappiness. There’s an even darker side of perfectionism – when a woman feels insecure and undermines another as a way to feel better about herself.
Until we learn how to release our perfection and show up authentically, we’ll never be able to step fully into our power.
Here are my 6 tips to let go of perfection:
1. Ask, why do I believe I need to be perfect? Once you listen to the answer, I bet you’ll see you are loved for who you are, not what you do or how you look.
2. Stop the self doubt talk. Start trusting yourself and the decisions you make. Doubting yourself is about focusing on the past. It wastes your precious time.
3. Release your judging mind. Judgment only leads to negativity and an overly critical view of yourself and others. Who wants that?
4. Don’t compare yourself or your life to others. Most often, you compare yourself to someone you think has more or is doing more than you. This is never
a win-win.
5. Let go of how you think it’s supposed to be. Instead of being and doing what you think you are supposed to be and do, claim who you really are.
6. Don’t let mistakes you make stop you from moving forward. We all make them. You are more than worthy and enough. Learn from the mistake and #KeepGoing.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 26, 2018 | Inspiration |
I attended the Wisdom 2.0 conference in San Francisco this past weekend. It was an inspiring, lively event with over 3000 people. Without a doubt, mindfulness has gone mainstream! The diverse line up of speakers was amazing. By far, my favorite speaker and who inspired me the most, was Tarana Burke, the founder of #MeToo.
Tarana is beyond awesome. She is smart, strong, dedicated, fierce, compassionate, committed and articulate. For over 20 years, she’s dedicated her life, day in and day out, to supporting black and brown women survivors of sexual abuse and harassment.
Tarana is what I call a Badass and a Woman UnRuled.
When the #MeToo movement went viral, Tarana’s initial concern was that her life’s work would be taken away from her and misunderstood by the media. Tarana makes it clear that the movement is about supporting and empowering women by giving them the tools to heal from abuse. It’s NOT about taking down powerful men.
Tarana wasn’t seeking the limelight. Now that she’s in it, she knows it’s an enormous responsibility. She is determined to keep her work strategic and pure and is leading this effort with the utmost level of integrity and care.
After Tarana spoke and received a standing ovation, I was compelled to ask:
“What am I most moved by?”
I’ve know for some time. I’m passionate and committed to inspiring and empowering others AND myself to find greater freedom and joy – and reach the highest potential of success.
Question for you. What are you most moved by?
Maybe it’s your work, your family, your children, your own self healing or a cause you’re dedicated to. Or your community or your art. If you’re not sure, don’t fret. Just start asking yourself the question. Tune in. In time, it will become clear to you.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 19, 2018 | Mindset |
There seems to be an epidemic of overwhelm and exhaustion among many women today.
Can you relate?
I think it’s about overdoing – for ourselves and our loved ones. While in the whirlwind of overdoing, it’s easy to lose touch with yourself and what matters most in our lives. It’s far from grounded and joyful. Eventually, we’ll get sick or something will stop us in our tracks.
Overdoing stems from thoughts like: “No one else can do this” or “I can’t ask for help.” Or, “I can’t say No”. Or, it’s about wanting to feel needed or important. Whatever your reason, it happens when you hand over the reigns to your masculine side and let it run rampant and neglect your intuitive, nurturing feminine side.
Most of you know, I have a new puppy that’s 12 weeks old, Pie. She’s adorable AND a hand full!
For the past month, I’ve been sleep deprived, stressed, and been on overdrive. I don’t know about you, the more stress I have, the more I do. Ten days ago, my body broke down. I hurt my lower back and the pain I’ve felt has been debilitating – beyond crazy. All you mothers: I have even more understanding and compassion for all that you do!
I realized this: Sometimes You Have to Break Down to #BreakFree.
We’ve Got to Take Care of Ourselves the Same Way We Take Care of Others.
We’ve Got to Understand Our Limits and Know Our Boundaries.
We’ve Got to Learn to Ask for Help.
We’ve Got to Nurture Ourselves from the Inside Out.
Make sure the choices you make – every single day – what you eat and drink, what you do, the music you listen to, your thoughts, what you read, who you spend your time with – Nurtures YOU.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 12, 2018 | Business, In-Power |
#1 Start Your Day with a Positive Attitude.
Get out of your head and into your body: whatever that means for you. It might be going for a run or walk, taking a spin or yoga class or simply being quiet and meditating. Your intention is to be grounded, present, confident and ready to face the day.
#2 Be Authentic and Stay True to Who You Are.
When I was in my 20’s, I had an interview with an executive who would eventually hire me for my first sales manager job. He asked me, how will I change if I make a lot of money? It was an interesting question. Was he asking me, would the money go to my head? The truth is, my values have never changed, despite periods of my career where I’ve earned a lot of money. Perhaps your lifestyle changes when you have more money, but your values don’t have to. You are the same person at work as you are at home so show up in business as your authentic self.
#3 It’s Not About the Hours. It’s About Results.
Don’t stay up late working because “everyone else is doing it”. I learned early in my sales leadership career to never confuse activity with results. It wasn’t about how many sales calls I went on. It was about making sure each one had a successful outcome. Don’t get me wrong, I spent my fair share of late nights at the office early in my career. But ultimately, it’s all about performance – how much you can make happen in a given timeframe, not the actual time you put into it.
#4 Don’t Concerned About Being Liked.
Listen. We all want people to like us. But don’t make it a priority at the expense of realizing what you want to accomplish. If others are uneasy with your success or feel insecure around you, it’s not your job to make them feel comfortable. Of course, self awareness and grace go a long way. But in general, I suggest: own your confidence, leadership and charisma and be a role model for others around you.
#5 Know What You Want.
I’m one of those people that gets passionately attached to an idea. Once I do, I’ve been known to have an unrelenting focus to make it happen. Picture a dog with a bone – assertive! You don’t need the same fervor, but you do need a clear vision of what you want to create and a strategy and plan to get you there. You can always change a plan, but if you don’t have a plan to begin with, it’s hard to change, right?
#6 Ask for It.
Once you’re clear on what it is that you want, ask your potential client, boss or employee, for whatever it is. “I’d like to build a strategic partnership with you and your company”, “I’d like to manage a sales team focused on this vertical”, “I’d like to work with you”, “I’d like to be promoted to VP, here’s why I’ve earned it”. You can’t expect things you want to happen magically. You have to Ask. Also, if you don’t ask, you’ll never know what you could have gained.
#7 Compete with Yourself.
It’s easy to put energy into what your colleagues or friends are doing or achieving. Many company cultures thrive on promoting competition among their workforce. I say, stay focused on the activities that will bring YOU the results you want. Giving your attention to others takes your eye off the prize of being the best you can be. And here’s the thing: your experience, values, strengths, skills, passions and your DNA are totally unique. Embrace your individuality, and it will lead to your ultimate success. Don’t compete with others: compete with yourself.
#8 Don’t Expect a Certain Outcome.
This is a controversial statement. I’m a huge believer in having high standards, a clear vision, and specific goals to get you where you want to go. Simultaneously, I’ve learned to not expect a certain outcome. Business expectations are a breeding ground for disappointment. Shit happens within your own company and often with your clients. Expectations of a product launch happening on time or revenues coming in at a specific time – you get the drill. Be open to how situations unfold and always have a plan B. If you remain flexible, the outcome may be better than you anticipated.
#9 Ask for Forgiveness. Not Permission..
The maverick in me likes this one. Truth be told, you’ve got to learn to use your instincts to be successful in business, and that requires making gut level decisions. If you’re waiting for someone to tell you what to do, you’re probably in the wrong role or place. The more you rely on your instincts and intuition, along with your real life experience, the better you’ll be at making sound business decisions.
#10 Speak Up.
If you have ideas that can improve your company’s performance, announce them! I don’t mean endlessly offering information that hasn’t been requested. But if you have feedback on ways to do things better, propose a thoughtful solution. The only way companies can get better is if employees and customers provide their honest, constructive feedback.
#11 Go for It.
Taking risks isn’t for everyone. Fear is what usually prevents us from doing something that is uncomfortable. Common thoughts can be “what if I fail”, “what if it’s the wrong decision”, “what will people think of me.” Be aware of your fears, acknowledge them, just don’t let them stop you from going after what you really want! Change the conversation in your head to: “I might be intimidated, but this will work! I so got this!”
If you are an entrepreneur or an executive, I can help you align with your business goals for your ultimate success. Check out my business coaching options here.
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