by Amy Matthews | Apr 24, 2018 | Inspiration |
Do you constantly berate yourself or compare yourself to others? Is it difficult for you to love yourself? There’s no better day than today to begin the process of truly loving who you are.
Why? Because you are a FIERCE and AWE-INSPIRING being!
An amazing woman, inside and out, with unique skills, talents and passions. No other woman is exactly like you on the planet. Truly.
Plus, you won’t be comfortable in your own skin and trust your decisions until you love you for all that you are.
And, how can you expect anyone else to love you if you don’t genuinely love yourself?
Today and everyday, speak to yourself kindly. Say to yourself you are the bees knees, the coolest cat, a gorgeous babe, a smart, capable, delectable, wonder woman with sprinkles on top!
Be your best friend. Be the best mother to yourself you could ever imagine. I know you pour so much love out into the world: now harness it and direct it back to YOU!
Fall in Love with Yourself. Write a list of all the things that you love about You.
LOVE YOURSELF UP.
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by Amy Matthews | Apr 16, 2018 | Business |
Many women in business feel the pressure to act like men, communicate like men and even dress like men. Though more prevalent in traditionally male dominated industries – like finance and venture capital – there are women in every industry that feel this pressure. At some level, whether conscious of it or not, women believe if they want to get ahead, they need to look and act a certain way.
I am not saying the pressure isn’t real – don’t get me wrong. The problem is, by buying into it, we accommodate and wear masks. We can lose touch with who we really are because we believe our authentic self isn’t ok or enough.
Here’s something that happened last week.
I was meeting with a male friend of mine in San Francisco at the Four Seasons. There was an institutional investor conference going on at the hotel so the lobby was crowded. An attractive woman, in her early 30’s, walked past us. My very observant and astute friend said, “she looks a lot older than she is wearing that”. She was in a tweed suit – imagine Chanel like. I noticed that the suit was wearing her rather than the other way around. She looked like a mannequin – awkward and lifeless. Instantly, I said:
She’s wearing what she thinks she’s supposed to wear. Not what she wants to wear.
Why?
To Not Stand Out.
To Not Rock the Boat.
For Fear She Won’t be Taken Seriously.
To Fit In with the Ol’ Boys Club.
I don’t know if you can relate but I can. I remember the navy blue, double breasted, wool suit I wore in my 20’s! At the time, with my short bob, I thought I had it going on. Through experience and time, I’ve learned – in business and in life:
Show Up Authentically.
Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin.
Communicate Confidently and Clearly.
Wear What Makes You Feel Good and Right for the Situation.
Unless we start changing our behavior, nothing will change. We can’t expect men to change, old structures to change or the old boy network to change. Women need to courageously lead the change. If we want things to be different, whether at work or at home, we’ve gotta show up authentically, in our power, in our brilliance and grace. And ask for what we want and need. Once we fully step up and show up to ourselves, men will take our lead.
There’s no better version of yourself than the real YOU. Be Yourself – ALWAYS.
Realize the power you have – in all aspects of your life.
Btw, the word Courageous comes from the French word Coeur..which means Heart.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 6, 2018 | Inspiration |
As women, many of us have difficulty prioritizing our own needs. It’s not surprising. The truth is, we’re culturally programmed to take care of others first. We can go through our entire lives without ever considering our own needs and wants. Whenever I ask a coaching client, “What Do You Need?, I often get a “deer in the headlights” response.
Here’s a story about a client of mine:
She recently accepted a new job with a well known financial services company. She’s a single mom and for several years, had been working for a family run business. The owner was demanding and expected her to be available on weekends at his beck and call. He wasn’t nice, lacked social intelligence and when he was in the office, she was on pins and needles. Not Fun.
One day, much to her surprise, she was put on a 90 day improvement plan. This highly competent woman had been told she was doing a very good job. To say the least, the news was puzzling – and threatening.
Smart woman that she is, she began looking for another job and within weeks, she was offered a position with better pay, vacation and benefits. Yay! When she gave notice to her current employer, again, much to her surprise, they countered and asked her to stay. They told her “They Needed Her”. Those three words were the hook.
She was torn and was deliberating over whether to stay or go. All her life, she chose to do things because she was needed. When I asked her Why, she said, being needed was a role she was familiar with and good at. We talked about how she’d been conditioned to put the needs of others first at the expense of understanding her own.
This is what I said to her:
You can choose to create a stable future for yourself or continue working for a boss that doesn’t respect you and treats you poorly. It’s not easy to change a life long pattern. Be kind to yourself. The more you make choices that support you, the better you’ll get at it.
At some point, we’ve all been in her shoes. We’ve all made choices that are not in our best interest. We’ve all put the needs of others before our own. We’ve all made choices that don’t support what we need and really want.
It’s Time to Uncover and Understand what You Need and Want.
t’s Time to Make Choices that Support You.
It’s Time to #BreakFree and Live the Life You’ve Always Imagined.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 2, 2018 | Business, In-Power |
Who you are being has a lot to do with your success, in all aspects of life. The truth is, we are all leaders. Each one of us has a choice on how we show up everyday, in every situation.
Here are my Top 8 Leadership Skills for Everyday Life:
1. Be Authentic, Real and Confident.
Feel comfortable in your own skin and stay true to who you are, no matter what. Have strong convictions, clear intentions and be willing to stand up for what you believe in.
2. Be Accountable and Committed.
The buck stops with you. No excuses or scapegoats. Be accountable for the choices you make and 100% committed – to your relationships and whatever you do.
3. Trust your Intuition and Communicate.
Use your intuition. Listen and connect. Size up the situation, access your feelings and communicate your truth with clarity and compassion.
4. Understand the Value of Time.
Your most precious resource is your time. Know what matters to you most and prioritize your time accordingly. Don’t waste your time or the time of others.
5. Be Kind and Earn People’s Trust.
Treat everyone with respect, whether it’s loved ones, colleagues or someone you just met. Make every encounter matter and memorable.
6. Be an Example for Others.
Own your brilliance, love yourself and embody your power. People are attracted to presence and positive energy. Inspire others to be the very best that they can be.
7. Be Flexible and Resilient.
Things change. Be flexible and willing to alter your plan. When shit hits the fan, pivot.
Don’t get attached to a certain outcome.
8. Plan and Take Decisive Action.
Know who are, what you want and where you want to go. Once you do, take decisive action. Never let your fear or doubt stop you from manifesting what you really want.
Be the Leader of Your Life.
Be the Leader of Others.
Be the Inspiration.
by Amy Matthews | Mar 26, 2018 | In-Power |
I get this question a lot. What’s your definition of “Being Empowered”?
To me, being empowered means Being in-Your-Power, Within Yourself.
It’s loving and trusting yourself, feeling comfortable in your own skin, communicating your truth, being able to laugh at yourself and staying true to who you are and what you believe in – no matter what is happening around you. It’s having clear intentions and taking decisive action to realize what you really want.
It’s Autonomy – the feeling of independence and freedom.
It’s Accountability – for how you show up and every choice you make.
It’s living as the Authority of Your Life – knowing the buck stops with you.
It’s being the Author of Your Life – choosing your thoughts, words and actions wisely.
I didn’t say it was easy! It takes a whole lotta clarity, courage and confidence to stand and stay in your power.
Being Empowered is NOT:
It’s NOT about power over others.
It’s NOT about proving yourself and doing more.
It’s NOT about being driven by the attention or accolades from others.
It’s NOT about playing the Perfection Game as it can’t be won.
On a scale of 1-10, how Empowered do You Feel?
