by Amy Matthews | May 7, 2018 | Business |
Are you doing what you really want to do in your life? This may be a daunting question. So many women I talk with are either unclear about what they want to be doing in their lives, or they know what it is but are afraid to actually do it. I can relate. Before I created Woman UnRuled, I knew for a long time I wanted to be a business and life-freedom coach. It took some time for things in my life to line up so I could pursue it. And honestly, I needed the confidence to make it happen.
If you are a woman who isn’t clear on what you’d like to do, here are a few ways to invite in more clarity. First, ask yourself a few questions:
* What Am I Passionate About?
* What Lights Me Up?
* What Have I Always Wanted to Do?
Once you have a long list, pick 2 or 3 which really jump out to you, try them on and test them out. Go on informational interviews, follow someone around for a day. Pretend you’re doing a research project. You’ll know whether the experience is something you want to take further. Is it a fuck yeah or just a yeah?
If something doesn’t fully light you up, that’s okay because something else will.
If it’s aFuck yeah, choose it and declare that you want it. Yep, declare it out loud. There is so much strength in our words and our voices.
Now that you know what you want to do, it’s time to get into action to make it a reality.
Develop a strategy and a plan. Work It. And most importantly, do not quit. See it through.
by Amy Matthews | May 5, 2018 | In-Power |
I joined an adult novice rowing team last year. Here’s the thing:I had never rowed before. Not even once. I just got it into my head that it was something I wanted to do. Getting a great workout on the water and learning a new team sport appealed to me. It was rigorous. Practice was at 5:40am two weekdays and on Saturdays. I had to wake up at 4:30am to get to practice on time.
Not exactly my cup of tea.
There was a woman on the team, I’d say she was 65 years old. She had recently lost 40 pounds and joined the team to stay in shape. She was enthusiastic, dedicated and always the first one at practice. Our coach was 23 years old, just out of college. His rowing skills were strong but he had no interpersonal skills. Nada.Nil. Zippo. Each morning, he berated this woman in front of the entire team.He told her that not only would she never be a good rower, but that basically she was incompetent. And she still continued to come to practice. It was painful to hear and watch the verbal abuse she received from this inexperienced coach. It was almost like he wanted to break her down and make her quit. But she kept showing up. Bottom line, it was obsessive criticism and abusive behavior no one should ever put up with. And then one day, she sent her team members an email to say she decided to quit.
Fast forward, one year later. I was at to the farmers market a couple Saturdays ago. Out of the corner of my eye, a woman exclaimed, “Hi, Amy!”. I didn’t recognize her until she said her name. It finally dawned on me who she was, but she was twice the size of the woman on my rowing team! She proceeded to tell me how belittling and excruciatingly painful her experience was with the coach. How she gained back all her weight and then some. How bad she felt about herself. And how she missed being on the water in the early mornings. Whoa..it made my heart break.
Here is what you need to know:
* Never, I mean never, put up with abusive behavior, verbal or otherwise
* Never let anyone tell you you are “less than“
* Don’t let anyone stamp out your passion and enthusiasm
If you find yourself in a situation where someone is putting you down, make it your choice to leave. Do Not Pass Go. Over and Done With. Vamoose.
YOU can Break Free in your life, but it’s going to take you saying NO MORE to other people who try to keep you from your new life.
Do you want to feel more self love, confidence and feel empowered?
by Amy Matthews | May 4, 2018 | In-Power |
Here’s a story I want to share about a client of mine. She’s 37 years old, articulate, and highly intuitive. She has a stable career as a nurse, owns a home and is dedicated to raising her two children. She was married for 20 years and she divorced less than two years ago. Her ex is a good father, and dedicated to her and their two girls. They just grew apart.
For the past year and a half, she’s been dating a younger man from work. She loves him very much and he loves her too. They have an amazing bond and their chemistry is off the charts.
One BIG Problem:
She found out from his mother that he was also seeing someone else for the past 9 months. She confronted him and he finally admitted it. She broke it off and he continued to pursue her. Vehemently. She decided to allow him back into her life even though her intuition says he’s still with the other person. She’s heartbroken. She feels rejected and preoccupied with the idea that he is choosing the other woman over her.
I asked her to list the things she knew about this man from her time being with him. How he showed up, and what his actions revealed about him. Just the facts. Here’s what she came up with:
* Emotionally immature
* Not faithful
* Not honest
* Not trustworthy
* Not ready for commitment
I then asked her a simple question.
Does she want to be with a man who’s emotionally immature? Not faithful? Not honest? Not trustworthy? Not ready for commitment? Her answer was a resounding NO.
I told her that she was rejecting him, not the other way around. He’s not able to give her what she wants. It’s not about her vs. the other woman. He simply isn’t ready. Period.
Rejection can have such a hold on us that it’s sometimes hard to see straight. I know how hard it is to let go of someone you love dearly. It’s painful. It takes courage. It takes guts. But by doing so, you are ultimately saying YES to yourself.
Say YES to Yourself. Say Yes to What You Want. Do Not Waiver. Even When It’s Hard.
by Amy Matthews | May 3, 2018 | Business |
Getting clear on what you really want to do is a process. This means it takes time, effort, and patience with yourself. Once you have clarity, the next step is to develop a clear strategy and action plan to bring your idea or dream into reality.
I’ve worked with many female entrepreneurs on business strategy. Most want to fall in love with their business idea before they actually put a stake in the ground. They keep their idea close to their chest, nurture and protect it like it was a newborn child. That’s all well and good, and there is a time for that, at the beginning of the process. I’ve learned, however, that to be successful, you’ve got to be objective and not get married to any one idea.
Use the 6 D’s to test the viability of your idea:
1) Develop Your Vision for Your Company
2) Define Your Services or Products
3) Determine Your Target Market
4) Develop a Clear Value Proposition and Why It’s Better than the Competition
5) Define Your Business Model
6) Develop Your Marketing Strategy and Sales Strategy
By going through these 6 steps, you’ll get a sense if your business idea has legs.
If it does, now the hard work begins. You gotta put your heart, body and soul into it. You gotta want it bad. You gotta commit. It will take blood, sweat, tears and lots of time. You gotta work it. You gotta remain flexible. You gotta ask for help. You gotta be willing to pivot. And most importantly, you gotta stay the course, even when the terrain gets rocky.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 30, 2018 | Business, Mindset |
Too much to do, too little time to do it. Does that sound familiar? You are not alone. There is so much going on in our lives and in the world today that life seems to be moving faster and faster. Many of us are so caught up rushing from one thing to the next that we forget to stop and breathe.
We all know the feeling of overwhelm and it’s not fun. It leaves us feeling stressed out and often paralyzed to take action. Or we decide to take something off our plate – the very thing we want and need most. Here are examples:
You know yoga makes you feel good but instead of going to class, you work longer or gulp down a glass of wine. Or you postpone working with a coach who can frame a new outlook and help you develop an action plan. We’ve all been there!
When I’m feeling overwhelmed, here are 5 things I do to shift:
Take a Time Out.
When you feel overwhelmed, this is when you need to take a breather! Get into your body by taking deep breaths or meditating for 5-10 minutes. Put some soothing music on. Go for a walk. All these things will help you shift.
Write it Down.
Write down what’s in your head that’s making you feel overwhelmed. Is it a work project? Life in general? Once you start writing, your overwhelm will naturally diffuse. You’ll gain perspective on how much you really have to do.
Ask Yourself: What Am I Feeling?
Overwhelm often happens not because there’s too much to handle, but because our emotions get in the way. Our feelings and emotions are what make us stressed out.
If you can, talk it out with a friend.
Take Action.
Determine your priorities. Everything doesn’t have to happen this minute! Do the things that are urgent, save the important ones to do later and delegate or outsource the things that you don’t need to do.
Be Grateful.
I bet your life is pretty incredible. It’s amazing how differently we feel when we shift our perspective from “there is so much I HAVE to do” to “there is so much I GET to do.” Give it a shot – appreciate all that you have now.
